A once-good friend of mine, male of course, after learning that i got engaged said this to me and I was like whoa where did THAT come from. And he said calmly, because that is the way it is. After marriage things change.
As expected that set off a whole series of random disconnected thoughts in my head whereby i started examining relstionships all around me, both platonic and otherwise to see how many of believe that nothing, not even friends will ever be the same again after we say ‘qabool hai’.
A guy friend of mine used to profess when we werent even old enough to know that, guys and girls can never be friends. Attraction of some sort usually ruins the equation, more so especially after marriage.
Another friend, female this time, said that remaining closely in touch with your guy friends after marriage meant that your husband wasnt enough for you.
Are we really that narrow minded in life that we cant see beyond the sex of a person to the human being underneath? Are we really that conscious of our sexuality that nothing, no meaningful contact can exist other than an awareness that infront of me is someone of the opposite sex? Are we that entrenched in what ‘should be’ that we are forgetting to consider what ‘can be’?? Today, I refuse to let go of my friends, both male and female just because I will be someones wife. I believe that the advantage of conversation and education has opened my mind enough to allow me to accept that when getting married, I am changing to involve another person in my life. Not forget who I was in the first place.