What Are You Looking For?

This question I have dodged all my life because it has always been asked at points when I am most unsure what it is that I’m looking for. Many a times when I was asked this and obviously pertaining to a life partner, I wasnt even sure that I was looking. what do I want? ummm. A nice person maybe? Not an axe murderer? Where does one start? And more imptly, does one ever end? And if i were able to draw a clear enough picture, you mean to say that a kind soul will actually find somone like that for me? And if they found this paragon of perfection, wouldnt they rather just keep him for themsleves?

Upon hearing about me and k, an old aunty friend of the family’s exclaimed delightedly that he was exactly what I needed. So was I looking for something I needed when I was supposedly looking? Or is the need factor thrown in for good measure?

As a shopper, im compulsive and many of my purchases have precious little to do with need. I just look and like and buy and be happy. Is that an indication of the frivolity level of my decision making? Are my life choices just as based on some kind of gut happy instinct? Am i a compulsive-impulsive? Do I know I need what I look for? Or do i subconsciously look for what I need?


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One thought on “What Are You Looking For?”

  1. your last few lines about ebing compulsive ins hopping and relating that to choices in life seemed vert apt….i see myself doing the same..im at times hasty with decisiions and hardly ever do something because i need it..i juts do it..and at this point in my life i find myself doing that and also thorughly confused.

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