staying me.

a trend ive noticed amongst soon to be married or married women is suddenly losing who youve been for the past 20-something years of your life. we suddenly fall into the trap of what we ‘should be’, not even thinking about what actually is. we think that suddenly we must not be seen in excessive company of men, even if you have literally grown up with male friends all your life. we assume we must suddenly be more home driven than career driven; after all your existence finally has some purpose…and most importantly we are worried about coming across too much as a person with a mind of her own. we want to seem pliant and feminine so we keep quiet when all our lioves we have fearlessly crusaded for truth. without thinking of the message we are actually putting across we create our own traps and then walk into them.

amongst various other adjustments in my head and my space, one major one is also reminding myself periodically to stay me. to remember who i was before i met k and to recall that that is what brought us together in the first place. in the coming months till the wedding, i am going to keep going as i have been, working happily, finding my muse, being creative and slowly start accepting new truths, new facets about me without compromising on any of the old ones.


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6 thoughts on “staying me.”

  1. you’ve actually just quoted everything that goes on in my head and possibly all my fears of marraige!
    why do men insist their wife change into a boring housewife , when what they fell for was an outgoing, full of life and independant girl.she had opnions, friends, and confidence.all these qualities attracted him to her.
    then why make her give them up one by one…whyyyy!

  2. khizzy actually we are like that too. we will fall for someone for their sense of humour for their outgoingness and independence and slowly turn into clingy human beings wanting to know who he is with and where he is going and why he didnt call 15 times a day!!

  3. jammie i dont think so, or may be it is.. if it is wats the solution? y cant we both be like we used to be and still be as happy as used to be?.. y do i have to change and y cant i expect some changes in return? y shud there be changes in the first place!

  4. Yes jammie, it’s surely the way to go. Don’t become another one of those conveyor-belt wives. Cliched as it may sound: marriage is what you make it.

  5. I must say –

    This feeling is just sooo universal….irrespective of where the female resides…whatever part of the globe…

    You have struck a chord…

    Also, though these are old posts…But they are new for me..and I enjoy reading about a soon to be married woman and her thoughts…

  6. So true. Actually thats something we see around happening in our society or infact we are trained to act that way close to being married. It scares me!

    Reading ur blogs opens up new dimesnions of life to me đŸ™‚

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