a trend ive noticed amongst soon to be married or married women is suddenly losing who youve been for the past 20-something years of your life. we suddenly fall into the trap of what we ‘should be’, not even thinking about what actually is. we think that suddenly we must not be seen in excessive company of men, even if you have literally grown up with male friends all your life. we assume we must suddenly be more home driven than career driven; after all your existence finally has some purpose…and most importantly we are worried about coming across too much as a person with a mind of her own. we want to seem pliant and feminine so we keep quiet when all our lioves we have fearlessly crusaded for truth. without thinking of the message we are actually putting across we create our own traps and then walk into them.
amongst various other adjustments in my head and my space, one major one is also reminding myself periodically to stay me. to remember who i was before i met k and to recall that that is what brought us together in the first place. in the coming months till the wedding, i am going to keep going as i have been, working happily, finding my muse, being creative and slowly start accepting new truths, new facets about me without compromising on any of the old ones.