EXPECT: one of the most tortured words in the history of the english language, the ab-usage of which is taken to new heights during the matrimonial period.
what takes a normal free thinking, free speeching 20-something year old and turn her into a head bobbing, placid, meek human being who nods sagely at ridiculous suggestions? the expectation factor. the simple explanation is that it was done for centuries before…and so what if the point and relevance of it is lost on life today, it MUST be done coz…it was always done.
im all for tradition. i think we have some beautiful ones, even those we havent bummed off hinduism and india. but as the years go by, things change. lives evolve and i find myself questioning a lot of what i took for granted just because it was all part and parcel of the process of getting married. knowledge in this case did breed dissatisfaction as i realized that most of the things that the bride and groom do are based on some rasm created on the whim of an expectation of someone far up in the ancestry. while sitting mayun and protecting yourself from the sun so you are fairer on your big day is still advisable i dont think your eyes will disintegrate if you perchance set sight on the groom.
i realize its an age thing. im an older bride. which could translate into a hassle free bride or maybe its simply a personality flaw. i dont see the point of my wedding showcasing a way of being which isnt me. and if im the one getting married, then along with the set of expectations the occasion serves, i feel it should also reflect my set of values and beliefs.
its been pleasing to know that my family expected nothing normal from me. i come from from a fairly open minded family where people dont go berserk with expectations until they are given free reign to do so. i have realized this while closely observing my last 2 cousins weddings. so armed with knowledge of behaviourial psychology, i set my targets clearly and concisely. i am not unreasonable either. i dont argue for the sake of arguing (unless someone really pisses me off). i value the wisdom of the ‘done thing’ too…because i do understand that a lot of what is said is true because it has proved itself worthy of being repeated.
i dont know what the next 4 months have in store for me. and i dont know what the wedding week will finally culminate into being. but i hope and pray that i go through the whole process a happy woman, without the burden of the unnecessary expectations on her shoulders.