i think one of the best tests to find out who your real friends is to get married.
we go through life, making friends and sometimes, sadly enough, breaking friends.
as opposed to the daily dose friends, who are a necessity for normal crossing of a 24 hour period, some are another-life friends, with whom you will always pick u where you left off, in some manner. they might not know what you do right now, they might have no clue to your daily life and people, but on some level you will always connect. you wont call them when youre upset but times spent with them will always make you realize how far you ahve come.
come wedding time, though, sensitivities to all types of friends is heightened. you are suddenly the bratty bride who must at all times have the complete undivided attention of your friends. they must not have lives. they must always be available. to shop. to bum. to bitch to. or simply be with. its part of the unwritten code for female friends.
daily dose friends suffer more, methinks, having been one of them several times over at many friends weddings. we suffer more because we feel more. we are more emotional (a FRIEND is getting married) and we feel more responsible (a friend is getting MARRIED!) and we suffer most because we believe in being there- in not missing moments.
now the so-called friends- a bred species all on its own, who believe in being there as long as you are the one making the effort. who believe in helping as long as you beg for the help. who will be there OF COURSE, as long as theres not something more exciting scheduled for that night (in that case they will simply drop in). this kind of characteristic can be found in the daily dose friends (for which you will love them anyways because being friends means accepting crap) and also in the another-life friends, in which case it simply becomes annoying.
ive seen my share of bratty brides, and i dont aim to be one of them consciously. but i have realized how on the edge all emotions suddenly get. you are teetering on the brink of reaction at any given time. its a time when the littlest of thoughtfulness is magnified to intense proportions and at the same time the tiniest of thoughtlessness is also huge. i am suddenly more aware of the fact that nothing will be the same.ever. it might get better (inshallah) but it wont be the same. it might be amazing (inshallah) but the familiarity will be gone. and even though i am attempting rational behaviour on my part, it doesnt change the fact that till my wedding, its my turn to expect the world from my friends.
*credit for this posts title goes to a conversation i had with o.a just minutes ago on why friends can be such a bummer sometimes.