on being the right person.

“Far too many people are looking for the right person instead of trying to be the right person” – Gloria Steinem

i recently ran across this quote and tried to apply it to many of the relationships i know of and follow avidly (kind of like star plus soaps).
is it true? is the season to adjust over? are we now completely formed human beings who will not mould ourslves into a couple unit if it means giving up a few parts of oursleves here and there? or is there still hope? is there still the chance that, once in actual love, we will not hold on obsessively to what we constitutes “me” and move on to what constitutes “us”?

i dont think in this context, the concept of “being the right person” exists on its own as an abstract idea on personality. i feel it has more to do with the way you are as a couple. if you are right for each other. and once in the marriage, the changes that you make are to be the right person for the person you just agreed to spend the rest of your life with.

another thought that came to me was about forever looking. i remmeber a time in life when our discussions used to range from “how do we know this is IT?” to “what if you meet your dream man at your very own wedding?”. the concept of choosing and THEN making it work was alien. we were all looking for the RIGHT man. one who would have all the qualities, goodness, sexiness and romance in perfect parts. we didnt anticipate ourselves changing at all. and now that we are grown up and shit, we realize, oh my god, so it is eventually, after all, all upto me to decide to be happy? because once i decide to, somehow, someway, the universe will conspire to make it so.


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6 thoughts on “on being the right person.”

  1. First of all, i don’t think there is one right person for anyone. If you keep on looking even after you THINK you have found a right person, eventually you will find someone else… I guess if we after finding someone we stop looking and start enjoying what we have, then life would be a bliss.

    As for being the right person… in every marriage both parties make some compromise for the other person. Initially we don’t like to make these compromises, because we are not used to it, but we do it, I think that does qualifies as being the right person. If we stop being the right person, then the relationship will eventually head for disaster. A me-me relationship will never last long, and even if it does, it won’t be a happy relationship….

    BTW, nice blog..

  2. *smiles* i just sat here and read your whole wedding blog.. youve made me laugh, smile and panic.. hahaha…Wishing you all the best in the next few months and for your marriage Inshallah. ill be dropiing in every now and then to keep and eye out on your progress. Congratulations

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