since the time we are little girls, we know that this is The Big Day. this is the day after which nothing is ever the same again. we move out, leaving our younger siblings to scrounge through the remnants of your life and take whatever fits them. we leave the room, for someone to move into or convert it into a guest room. we pack up little details of our past, things we will not want to need again. that purple dinosaur, frayed but much loved, held onto for purely sentimental reasons. the picture softboard with its many layers of photos, cards, memories and thoughts. the white leather chair, laden with so many moments of relaxing book reads, anguished curl-up crying sessions and deep analytical what-is-life talks.
as tomorrow shows up with its im-getting-married-this-month moment, i look at my room of the past 13 years. a room im deeply attached to. thats been my haven in moments of sorrow and loneliness and my dance floor in moments of ecstatic happiness. a room that has been clean and cluttered depending on my own state of mind. a room ive been locked in once for hours ( the door had to be broken down). my room which has the view of the sparkling lights of the city. my own little balcony where ive sat out on cold nights, talking quietly on the cordless.
it slowly becomes important to pack up all the details properly. with care and with a sense of nostalgia and good feelings. to resolve all past regrets and hurts even if only by acknowledging them. and for the next few weeks, as i attempt to do just that, i hope on the 23rd inshallah, when i get married, i get married with a sense of freedom, happiness and resolved-ness. inshallah.