cats and dogs.

i think fights are worse when you are married. For one, both work on the assumption that the person is THERE, that your other half cannot go anywhere because now you are in the ultimate relationship of them all- the marriage. And hence you feel you can be daring about pushing the hurt limit…of what you can get away with. So words are harsher,less thought-out and geared towards more of an impact (since you are theoretically safe in your bubble).

What we can forget to take into account is the corrosion to the soul, the gradual eating away of trust and love, the battering to the heart and the eventual shutdown of all reaction that we are setting in motion. when fighting in a marriage, be very very careful.


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9 thoughts on “cats and dogs.”

  1. ive read the book. 😀 ages ago. it was interesting. too theoretical though. the case studies and all are great in retrospect. when in the situation you hardly have that kind of pull back and analyse take on things. it confirmed my belief that you can only relate to these books not necessarily learn from them.

  2. it seems like you’ve finally had your first big fight…trying to walk away with as little damage as possible will only get harder! one thing to remember is that sometimes you CAN walk away from the fight even though you’re couped up in the same house… i tend to get more vicious the longer i go without a “time out” 🙂

  3. how you come out of it is what will confirm or not the stability and faith… will both partners disagree but with respect? sounds horribly cliched but so important practically, the respect with which to disgree…

    most of all, hats off to you for being searingly honest in a place and situation where you just arent supposed to be…

    salute (and wheres that coffee you owe me, please?)

  4. heheh. thanks for your comments guys…funny how all the wisdom in every situation comes after the Big Fight. 🙂

    cheesoo, you back? how do i contact you?

  5. what you say is very true… and as another said, the first year is always the hardest.. someone once told me never to go to sleep without talking to each other after having a fight.. if u keep that in mind, there just seems to be way more communication and things work out more smoothly!
    p.s interesting blog!:)

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