This time-together stuff is underrated.
People dont tell you exactly how amazing and fabulous and addictive being married can be (with the right person, of course). And I’m not counting Mills and Boons here.
My room is silent right now. Testament to k being in lahore for the next few days. It’s weird how loud silences can be when you are not used to them anymore. You try to fill them up with lots of books from Liberty, emails to friends you havent written to in ages, TV shows you don’t really want to watch, phone calls to people who you see everyday and lots of random activity like reorganizing closets and drawers, writing extra in your journal, staying at aerobics for an extra 15 monute workout…the list is endless. It’s so easy to get used to a person in your space. To have someone to think aloud to, sound out life and the day against.
I remember when I got my own room.
Euphemistically speaking of course. In reality it was a small 6 by 6 feet boxy space behind the front door of our Dubai apartment but to me, it was perfect. Of course. No bickering little sisters (I had a password without which they could not enter), no music other than my own. I could dance to my hearts content without the world judging me. Space is so important. Personal space, to be our own person, hussy said.
So why is this temporary space to be a little more me now bothering me?
Why am I now not enjoying this time to myself and using it to do all the things that I would not, could not do if k was here? Perhaps the concept of space evolves when you start letting someone in your head and heart. Maybe space becomes more abstract. Something that exists inside you, without needing tangible reality of a room to assert itself.