magicky.

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In countless pre-marriage conversations with some intelligent friends, we came to the conclusion that if you are not happy with yourself inside, nothing can make you happy. Especially not that one person on whose poor soul the entire burden of your happiness lies. We decided then and there, in that hypothetical conversation, that our attempt in life would be to find the happiness, if that’s what the elusive butterly is, inside our own selves, by living our lives as we want to and then sharing them with the ones we love, for affirmation. Not by depending on them.
We, in our single clearheaded states, also knew with utmost surity that though magic exists, it’s hard work. That there is no such force which will magically hold together 2 people for eternity while differences, in-laws and life spring up all around them, threatening the balance.

Of course hypothetical promises and vows are easy to make and when life hits you in full swing and with curve balls, the exact words of those strong single-woman- statements get a little blurred and it’s easy to blame the significant other for the erosion of magic and love.

I’m learning these days. From people around me who let that magic go simply because they refused to acknowledge their own bit in the working of it. Young couples. Happy couples who smiled love-bhari smiles at each other on stage a couple of years ago. In-love couples who fought for the right to be able to spend their lives together. As k and I battle out our first year together, it helps to remember the initial time together, when the feeling was uncomplicated by the dailiness of details, and we try to remember that in the face of all we see taking place. And I realize how much thinking, feeling, understanding and accepting goes into the simple word: magic.

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jammie

people who know me...know me.

5 thoughts on “magicky.”

  1. I agree with mahnoor..u are awesome…It seems as though you and your husband are the “PERFECT COUPLE”..(mashallah). In an arranged marriage case, how/when are you supposed to be certain that the man you’re about to marry is the ‘one’? And it’s crazy how so many love marriages end up in divorces…Do think Love really dies? I think it’s up to the couple, how determined they are to keep the relationship going, and how much each person sacrifices in a relationship. I always learn a thing or two everytime I read this blog! 🙂
    p.s. I think the key in having a successful marriage is compromise. Please do correct me if I’m wrong!

  2. thanks you guys. im not really writing for lessons sake here- i think th eprocess of marriage and now itsoutcomes are taking me by wonder and astonoshement on a lot of levels too- which is why sharing them makes them some how more tangible!

    compromise- alwasy thought something was wrong with the word- somehow to me it implies giving up on something that is impt to you and convincing yourself its ok- i think maybe a better word is adjustement- coz that implies shifting around things which are impt to you but fitting them ALL in- does that make sense?
    any relationhsip- arranged or not, is a process of trying to fit in pieces-

    and thanks for your words all of you- 🙂

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