Second Third and Fourth Thoughts.

According to most magazines now is right about the time when k and I should have our first really big row. And come to the emotional conclusion that we were simply not right for each other and that we rushed into this without thinking. Some married friends confirm this. And also admit that the second-thought-time followed closely as one took stock of the situation and came to the answer that they really were much better off in the whole single independent life. I mean really, why slave when you can rule?

Second thoughts however, the optimistic marrieds argue, don’t necessarily point to an unhappy marriage. Rather, they actually verify a healthy, thinking existence, in which you are open to adjusting to change than merely talking about it. Second thoughts also mean that there were first thoughts, which can only be a good thing because a marriage you stumbled into without thinking, for me atleast, is only reminiscent of falling head-first into a dark well. Thrilling yes I’m sure, but where you end up is anyone’s guess. Believing in the best, they also insist that second thoughts are a way of justifying and clearing to yourself why you are where you are. And to move forward if you need to. In life or relationship.

It’s a turning point, methinks, this second thoughts point. It’s a place you arrive at where you actually make peace with your married status. Where, you finally, blessedly, breathe out and say, Yes I did it. Im married and I’m happy. You finally stop threathening to leave just because he forgot your 5th monthly anniversary. You finally stop reminding him of that time when he just didn’t put you ahead of what his mother wanted. You finally stop thinking you could have done better. And you finally stop thinking that you can get out of it if you want and put all your reserves into making it work, for better or for worse.

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jammie

people who know me...know me.

9 thoughts on “Second Third and Fourth Thoughts.”

  1. You know the times have changed. Ever since men became proud of long hairs and women of big chests.

    you sound like a complaining wife to me…the ones who keep their hubbys under the pressure of their constant worries.

  2. thanks ink- you heading for the big first anniversary moment too na?

    sketcher- i dont think you understood the post at all. or maybe you deliberately misunderstood it. and im sure you must be a man.

  3. This is once again a very well written post. Thoroughly enjoyed it. You should start writing self- help columns for a magazine πŸ™‚

  4. thanks mehreen z-

    techgoddess- hahah thanks. but i dont think so. im helping myself- i think for now that suffices!

  5. i just love your blog and have taken the liberty of linking it on mine. Its soo good to know there are other women in the world who are married and not absolutely retarded by that fact.

  6. Hi,

    I love your blog…i think we got married within few months and I can relate to everything you’ve written here. I have been through my share of things and have learned from each and every one of them. I think with time I am becoming more practical (read coming out of my fantasy world) and evolving as a wife. Feels good to know that others share your views. May I add you to my blog?

    Thanks,
    Divya

  7. so eloquently written…i knew i was ready to make peace with my married status after i stopped trying to run after major fights…! πŸ™‚

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