The Rut called Marriage

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A recent conversation with a friend went something along the lines of her commenting on how strange it was that I haven’t fallen into the rut yet. The rut that marriage supposedly is.

How is it a rut? I ask her. And she stops for a moment and asks back, “How is it not? I mean you wake up every morning next to the same person, go to work, come home, wait for him to come home- you have dinner or go out and poof, its night time and the whole cycle starts again in the morning. Isn’t that a rut? But funnily enough you seem to be enjoying it…”

You can it a rut, or you can call it security or you can even call it life, but when you strip it down to basic generals of existence, nothing sounds exciting. I paused, thinking of how to answer her. And I thought of my day today. Taking full advantage of the chaotic paralysis that is rain in Karachi, k and I enjoyed a breakfast together before setting out to see a movie at the cineplex. Evening time spent at mom’s. Dinner again was just the two of us, getting a chance to catch up on so many things that have been going on. Nothing very different, all kind of…rutty, as she would think.

It’s so easy to define something as a rut or a pattern when we are not an active part of changing it. Or redefining it. It’s so easy to do the same big things everyday and not notice the many different little things we throw in subconsciously to add the spice. For the actual thrills, you have to take out the magnifying glass and peer into the fabric of dailyness to see the funny little extras- the shared laughter over a cartoon in the paper, the car-boat ride to the cineplex through the street-lakes of Karachi, arguing over the hotness factor of Johnny Depp over Orlando Bloom, watching the wedding videos with my sisters yet again, realizing for the umpteenth time in a conversation with him how lucky you are, playing catch with Bong – the non-ruttiness can be endless. But only if you decide to let it be.


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12 thoughts on “The Rut called Marriage”

  1. pictures not showiinggggggggggg!

    i want my married life to be as ‘rutty’as urs inshallah!lol!
    who is this ignorant person…tell her to spend a day with you!

  2. ok i saw the pics…but i went thru blogspot…pkblogs doesnt show images sometimes.
    yes blogspot is working right now!

  3. hehe khizzy- ill lether know-

    mina- he is SO big now although his face is still so cutey- i talk to him as if hes my baby- so maternals the word šŸ™‚

  4. good for you girl! i’ve realized after being married that people stereotype it to be so boring and typical, when it’s anything but..touche to making them realise the difference.

    btw, i finally blogged!

  5. Jammie, I wrote a really long comment here and blogger ate it :/
    Briefly: Cattu – awesome; Cattu and Coco …. fireworks
    Hubby who discusses Depp vs Bloom and the hotness quotient therein makes you one lucky gal.
    Yes, life is in the details, the stolen moments which exist even in the rut of the routine.

  6. love pic! k seems to be multi-talented. I’m coping with crazed excel loving bosses at work and floods at home. Been a busy busy month with absolutely no time or desire to blog.

  7. I have a question thats been bothering me for sometime now. May be you can comment on it being an ‘insider’ of the married-club.

    I have been told many times by my elders, friends and relatives that “shaadi ka bhoot foran utar jaata hay” and then the “real life” begins where you have to deal with all the ‘hidden talents’ of your once-beloved wife and deal with the power-struggle between your mom and your wife and blah blah blah. In short, the message I am hearing is that marriage is a hell hole from which there is no return.

    My question is, why do married people give this sort of impression to their single friends? do they know something you and I don’t know? šŸ™‚

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