I was talking to a newly married friend last night and she was telling me about her husband and how she finds herself getting irritable and cranky because she feels that so many times, he just doesn’t get what she needs to hear and how she wants to feel. She asked if I felt that way also and what did we do. As our conversation went on, we were in fits, realizing how hilariously difficult it all sounds when actually verbalized. I think the problem with us women is that we want it all. All the time. We want to be understood when we want to be understood and we want to be mysterious when we want to be not understood. We want to be left alone to assert our individuality and independence but not for too long (lest we start feeling insecure). We want to be be loved but not smotheringly. We want to be appreciated but just the right amount. We want to be taken care of but not so much so that we start feeling kept. We want to hear the right things at the right moment and for the right amount of time. We want to take care of you but not too much. We want to be taken care of…but again, not too much. We want to be excited about things so that life always seems happening but we like routine too, so we feel settled. The list of course, is endless.
The best thing about hashing life out loud with girlfriends is that they help you retain your sense of humour when you start getting nit-picky about your own relationships, armed with a magnifiying glass. They help you look at how anal you are being, at how much you are asking of a simple man, who in all honestly probably loves as much as he knows how to and is doing his best to keep you happy, while trying not to scream in your face “Gimme a break, woman! I love you- what do i need to do to prove it??” Bore me, baby, bore me!