One of the first emails I got from babycenter.com stressed on the importance of surrounding myself with positivity. People who make me happy, who say things which make feel good about the changes happening in my life. It isn’t always easy of course, because different people have different ways of being supportive. Some feel criticism is good, constructive even and that you will take everything they say in true soldier stride, striving to make your pregnancy a model one. Other feel that by plying you with questions is the way to go, because obviously you want to talk incessantly about the fact that you are in the midst of producing another human being. Yet others want to do a blow by blow account of their own experiences, highlighting the bad or the good to such an extent that you start feel quite overwhelmed.
No matter how happily you are waddling along your own pregnancy bubble, what people say sticks in your head, like that Candi by Lu jungle. They don’t say it out of meanness, I’m sure, but rather a need to participate and a distinct lack of trying to understand to understand the individuality of the whole thing. Some “endearing” comment on you looking like a double decker bus (thats supposed to make me keep smiling at you?) , some “well meaning” advice on not to wear a particular colour because it makes you look “rather bulky” (umm what part of “im seven months pregnant” did you not get again?) or some random comment about about something else which at this hormonal time niggles more than usual.
Sometimes, suddenly in the middle of all the “you should do this” and “you shouldnt do that” you wish everyone would just be quiet and listen to you- try to focus on who you are, what you are going through, what you are feeling instead of trying to feel useful by dispensing random wisdom. Sometimes you want to be heard because really at a time like this the clamour is loudest in your own head and the last thing you need is people trying to drown it out with their own version of what they think should be and could be happening to you. Sometimes, you just want everyone out of your bubble except the people who are willing to sit by you silently and just marvel.