Very few people I know are completely happy with how they look. There is always the odd complaint about the big butt, the double chin, the hooked nose, the flat chest, the non-existent waistline and so on and so forth. We look at ourselves critically from other people’s eyes so much so that we forget to look at the things that make us happy about us- the spontaneous sense of humour, the light-up smile, the twinkle in the eyes, the pleasant mannerisms, the interesting conversation. We tend to lobotomize these characteristics from our overall sense of being us and start judging ourselves only on what people can actually see. We always underestimate the intangibles.
Being pregnant is the whole new ball game. You get emails from babycenter, babyfit, pregnancy weekly all assuring you that you are not fat, you are pregnant. The glow is mentioned repeatedly so that it gets drummed into your head as something that WILL happen. And you can’t figure out why you can’t see it. Maternity clothes online start bombarding you with the latest in how to look beautiful while dealing with looking like a boulevard. And then as the all important third trimester hits, there is the matter of slowing down not because of health reasons but because the bump actually physically slows you down. You detect a waddle in your hitherto brisk walk. Getting out of bed becomes rolling out of bed and of course I can no longer tie my own shoelaces. Everytime you catch a glimpse of your profile in passing, you get taken aback by how different you look.
The key they say, is to make peace with the changes. To accept. To blossom and bloom and bask in the attention and pampering, earth mother style. I can understand that. Only women have the mental make up to go through something like this and come out not needing lifelong therapy. What I do not understand is how to tell my mind that. The body understands the physical slowdown because it has to, but the mind sometimes works on its own track and suddenly you find yourself feeling frustrated at not being able to keep up a pace that, not 6 months ago, was “normal rotuine”. This is the time, I suppose I am to take a deep deep yogic breath, relax and ask myself, “When producing and executing a complete concept and design layout in a few days can exhaust me mentally, then why should producing and expelling a little person at the end of nine months not take its toll physically and emotionally?” And with that perspective gained for a few short enlightened moments, I plod on again, looking to Week 31 for some more insight on being a happy accepting mother and individual in the wonderful world of pregnancy.