Just before I got married, every time in a social situation, I would find myself observing couples and their dynamics, mentally coming up with lists of how I would be and how I would not be, once married. Some friends thought it was a rather condescending thing to do considering I wasn’t exactly in the situation yet, but I justify my actions saying thats it’s never too early to start thinking about how you could be. I think anticipation helps resolve a lot of grey areas plus yes, I am the judgemental sort. I believe that people make a hoo haa about a lot of things in life which come very logically just to stream attention to themselves and many many things in life aren’t really so hoo haa. So shut up.
So now that mommyhood looms close and colourful, I find myself observing mothers and fathers with their children, mentally crossing and adding to my checklist of things that I will do- and more often, will NOT do.
1. I will NOT be an over-obsessive mother, talking only about MY child, MY birth experience, MY life, MY timings and MY oh-so-busy-now-that-I-have-a-child-life and MY child’s genius abilities. If I do, feel free to slap me.
2. I WILL do my best to remain an alert individual who is capable of having a normal conversation on world happenings, someone else’s wedding clothes, and random inane conversation without needing to mention MY child in every second breath. I will also continue to be interested in gossip to the exact same extent I am now- if not more.
3. I will NOT lose my identity just because I will have now given birth- I am a woman, a teacher, a wife, a daughter, a designer, a sister, a friend and a person- surely being a mother is just one more and doesn’t mean I have to lose all the others or shelve them forever.
4. I WILL change my old life to fit in the new, inshallah, willingly, happily, peacefully and excitedly. And without needing to self-importantly declare it at the top of my lungs to everyone every 5 minutes.
5. I will NOT let the fact that I will now be responsible for another human being scare the living dejeebers out of me. I shall take it in the stride and faith and belief that I have always had in God. Happily and calmly. Inshallah.