To say I miss my sleep would be an understatement of the highest order right now. I remember a time, possibly before pregnancy when I could sleep like the grateful dead lying on my stomach, oblivious to posture, breathing and pains. Pregnancy brought with itself a whole new world of sleeping positions- with pillows plumped all around you, under you, over you and rules galore. Don’t sleep on your back. Sleep on your left side. Don’t sleep on your stomach. Keep flipping to your right. It seemed like even when “asleep”, one was so aware of the instructions and advice, that deep sleep was not possible. A semi conscious state of slumber perhaps, but not sleep which invigorates and refreshes you.
Along came Naddu and out the window went any remnants of even what sleep/semi conscious slumber was left. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” speak the wise. Yes, very well said but how does one sleep every hour for an hour without possibly driving themslves insane or giving themslves a permanent headache? Sleep used to mean uninterrupted time to loll around on the bed, relishing the nothingness of life. And now, its moments of rest snatched haphazardly through the day.
Week three is underway and I am an expert at nodding off in the middle of almost any activity; watching tv, feeding him, eating, social situations. I think I have even perfected the art of catching z’s while looking awake and involved in a semi intelligent conversation. When I talk to other recent moms, the foremost words always seem to be about sleep- or rather the lack of it. We talk fondly about the times when sleep was not an elusive state, when we didn’t look zombie like and were generally better humoured at the end of a long day.
They say it gets better- and its true. You develop a sense of humour about it, one, and two, as “the baby” slowly becomes your baby, it matters less that sleep used to be important. You start functioning on another level of demand and supply with perks like your economics teacher could have never taught you. One gassy smile and you feel less tired. One cute gurgle and the drowsiness stays at bay. So yes, once upon a time I used to sleep, but now I am a mom.