At a dinner last night, a friend asked me if I get separation anxiety when I am away from Naddu. The question took me by surprise because one, I always have been a very big champion of me-time and very honestly I had not thought of this afflicting me yet, it being too early and all and him still being “new” to me. I started saying that I haven’t been out too much as yet- just the random errand or outing with friends or k and it usually doesn’t last for more than an hour and half but then I stopped, realizing with a start, that yes, even in that short time, I do feel a weird gapey unfamiliar feeling in my stomach somewhere, which gets dispelled a tiny bit when I think of him.
Momhood is a funny thing, I’m realizing. It takes so much of what you thought you were and turns it upside down, in a nice chaotically happy kind of way, leaving you breathless. You are taken aback by the sheer force of the change- at how effortlessly it creeps up on the norms you carefully construct for yourself and how it dashes them to bits, and the scariest funniest part of it is that, this time round, you don’t mind at all.
So yes, despite the fact that I still like my me-time a lot and the fact that Naddu is only three weeks old, I was quite surprised to discover that in this respect, I have been successfully mommified.