There is no such thing as a perfect mother. There can’t be for motherhood is as strange scary alien state where n matter how comfortable and experienced you are one minute, you are as confused and a novice the next. There are good days and bad days. Situations, feelings and emotions are thrown at you in such a haphazard random sequence that all you can is catch and dodge and jump and deal hoping that you hit upon the right solution in time.
Today I was a “bad mommy”. Call it oversight, call it complacency, call it ignorance, call it what you may, but it caused my baby pain and it put him at some risk. So I spent the whole day sad and upset and crying, alternately hugging him and apologizing. All other veteran mommies were fantastic, reassuring me, calming me and then in an undertone mentioning how every single one of them have been through the same thing. “We are human too, ” one mother of two says, “we make mistakes and oversights, sometimes very scary ones; the key is in to be brave and be there afterwards to fix it. There is much more ahead to be scared of- why waste energy dwelling on what is already past?” she adds laughing.
Parenting, I am learning is mostly about faith. Faith in the fact that you are dong your very best, and then leaving the rest to God.