I love weddings of close people because it affords you the opportunity to really get up close and personal with your own reasons for havng married the person you married. You move quietly into an analytical mode, watching the proceedings with an unerring eye, comparing subliminally to how things were at your time, what you felt, how you dealt, slowly coming to realize how much you have moved on and changed since then. You look at other couples and learn from their dynamics, jotting down do’s and dont’s of relationship in that invisible book that exists on your mind. You observe how much little stuff and how little big stuff matters and you wonder if it was all always this clear or have you actually come a long way.
There were so many things about M’s wedding I wanted to control. Mainly because I remember those things spinning out of control at my time. I kept advising her to make the dholki function small and intimate. I kept telling her to enjoy her time before the wedding with her closer friends and let the silly little details be. I wanted her to be thrilled about all that she had working for the wedding as opposed to all that was not happening that exact way she wanted, because in the larger scheme of things and life, those are not the things that matter. I learnt all this in hindsight of course, and being the eldest, you always feel hnour-bound to atleast try and share the “wisdom”, even though chances are every attempt will be met with a wall. So two years down from my time, watching M looking gorgeous sitting on the stage, married to a very obviously ecstaticF, reminded me of so many things that I had promised to myself for my life ahead with k and it was the perfect milestone (with Naddu being born) to take stock of how much of the wedding wow remains and what I more need to work at.