Since this post is somewhat connected to our newfound identities from the last post , it’s only fair they follow closely together.
Right from the very beginning of actual self realization, who we are is such an ever-evolving thing that it takes most of your teens and tweens to come up with a somewhat working answer to the perennial question “who am I?” From a daughter/sister/friend you go onto working professional/wife/mother mode (categorizations are on a purely random basis here) and then ofcourse onto mom/dad. All these people-works remain in progress for a long time in your life, overlapping many a times, clashing at many others, rarely working as harmoniously as you would like them to. You barely get accustomed to being one “type” when another job has been thrust upon you and there starts the juggling again.
I heard plenty of “warning” when I was expecting Naddu about how the marriage changes post-baby. About romance being the last thing on your mind, about the man changing because of added responsibility- just general depressing takes that people love to impart when they have nothing of value to say. I employ (and advise to others) the much advised in-one-ear-and-out-the-other technique in delaing with such situations; I have almost perfected it to an art by now.
k and I had a bit of an interesting time with our “friends to husband/wife” move but the year and half together of married life together ensured that we moved quite smoothly into mom/dad mode in the last 6 (plus 9) months. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that romance and spontanaiety took a complete back seat but yes, it has altered in its nature. We don’t get alone time (obviously). Our things-to-do-and-buy-for each other list has tranformed into a things-to-do-and-buy-for-Naddu list. We talk about the world and its matters much less and Naddu and his matters much more. We refer to each other as Meh and Beh. Funny thing is that despite almost all our time – both mental and physical- being governed by a lordly little being, I am closer to him than we have ever been before. Yes by virtue of the sheer experience of having a baby but also something else. A deeper connection, maybe? Sometimes, like the very beginning days, our eyes meet across a room over something Naddu has done and we share that personal crooked smile again, that says so much and implies even more. True the reasons might have changed, and situation and life itself really- but the feeling, thankfully, is just the same.