During Hussy’s pre-wedding get togethers, we did a spot of car-pooling, picks and drops. After having picked up A, we were on the way to her house oneday when T called and asked what the scene was. K was driving us, so I responded by saying that we were just a few minutes from her house and we could pick her up if she needed a ride. A fleeting glance and nod at k confirmed that this was not a problem. Having tied up with T, I settled back for the rest of the ride, turning to make conversation with A.
As I turned around I noticed A looking most bemused, and then she asked me, ” Shouldn’t you you atleast asked K if it was ok to pick up T?” “But why wouldn’t it be? She is on the way.” I replied, slightly puzzled. “I know but still, he is the one who is driving and you didn’t even ask him if it would be a problem.” she says. “But why would it be?” I ask again genuinely not getting it, “It’s not out of the way.” By this time K is also looking confused so A explains how most of the husbands she knows are of the typical sort and would not appreciate picking up their wife’s friends on the way to another friend’s house. Atleast not without a lot of prior warning and request. “I guess maybe it’s different for us because we are friends and don’t really think of it like a husband/wife thing…” I deduced, thinking it over.
It’s funny the things one takes for granted until looking at it from someone else’s eyes makes you appreciate it for what it actually is. It has never been a question of asking k for permission- it has always been more about informing him of a plan or at most coordinating with him for the harmonious working of that plan- the more typical dynamics of marriage bypassed us, thankfully, settling us in the happier, more comfortable working dynamics of “friends” living together.