Excerpt from my writings (plus a bit more)- Jan ’08

“Went through a a very alien phase of feeling “housewifey” in last ten days. I say it like it’s a bad thing. Felt that I have morphed into my own personal nightmare of women who lounge at home all day using the baby as an excuse to not do anything non-child related and whose entire point of existence rests on the moment the husband comes back home so they can “get a life”. Those who have no conversation other than “Baby did this” and ” We need to buy potatoes.” Of course in all this self-labelling, I am turning a blind eye to the fact that I am in the middle of projects- both domestic and professional, am finally getting my writing going and of course my current favourite, Growing Nadi. I suppose the nature of existence has altered so very much that making sense of this kind of life, of being this kind of “useful” is still taking some getting used to. Personally, this is also a form of post-natal adjustment. I use the word adjustment here to not use the word depression, because to be depressed with a life like mine is sheer ungratefulness and am not sure God will appreciate it too much.”

“If I didn’t follow my heart and my passion, ” she had said to me, “I’d be depressed and an unfulfilled human being. What sort of a mother would I be then?” The rest of us are quietly envious of her choice. An envy we brandish from our moral high ground. We are Real Mothers. She gives her nanny money to buy ready-made catering and party entertainment for her childrne’s birthdays. She wouldn’t know the inside of a baking tin or a home-made meal if it poohed on her footpath.” – The Secret Mothers’ Club by Joanne Fedler.


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6 thoughts on “Excerpt from my writings (plus a bit more)- Jan ’08”

  1. yeah, yeah…I hear ya! I think all mothers tend to do that a little bit – sitting on a pedestal and judging the others’ parenting. Working moms often hint that SAHM have no life outside of home and kids and therefore are incomplete in some way. Some SAHMs on the other hand to adopt a holier than thou…

    I personally think that every mom, her child, what works for them in the name of parenting and the bond they share are unique. It is naive to fit them into broad schools of thought and shows over-enthusiasm for bucketing and slotting.

    And now will you just look at me, I have transmogrified into an academic.

  2. aaahh.. been there…
    @ “post-natal adjustment” – love the adjustment word and your reason to use it instead.. can sooooo relate to every single word you just said.

  3. Coming up with “meaning” to your life is such an important thing. So many women just let these days phase away, thinking that they’re raising there kids, but after some time, they realize that the kids were just a part of their day, there could have been so much more.

    You’re one of the lucky few who recognizes that life has lots of potential, you just have to reach out and take it.

  4. First time here. :). I wish when I’d had my kids I had the pleasure of a dozen blog mommies going through the same thing with me. Back then, 4 years ago. It would have made the whole transition more bearable. As of now though – I’m here to report there’s no let-up in the feeling that being a SAHM is not all it for me. I love it but there’s always that nagging feeling that I could be doing more too.
    There are days Ive stayed mum just boring holes into my husband at the other end of the room bcos I didnt want to get into the baby did this and I found 300 thread count bedsheets for half-price conversation trap.
    Everyday is a new day fighting off the blahs. And then some.

  5. the eternal struggle! to be or not to be! in both cases! working mom or working at home mom!

    i chose the earlier! not that i have a majot career going! its a pretty crappy job with crappy pay! but the fact is it is mine! 🙂

    i get irritable if i have to be around kabir all the time (and he is SO adorable and painless) and its not worth it then!

    i love going back to his sunshine smile and day good or bad just becomes perfect!

    eiotherw ays its a choice one makes! and theres no point regreting it eitherways!

    easier said than done? maybe!

    but right now the balancing act works just fine!!


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