Doing nothing. Nothing doing.

I met someone a few days back who told me that I was “sooo lucky” that I chose to stay home and “do nothing” after Nadi was born. And then she went on and on about career choices and ladders and climbing up and success. But the minute she said “doing nothing”, suddenly her voice went all slow and warbly as a full blown colour play by play of my new and mommied life started infront of my eyes.

7:45am and I am beaten awake by Nadi who is such a morning person it’s amazing. Follow about 3 hours of energizer bunny activity during which I manage to make bed, clean up the room, catch the 9:30am episode of CSI Miami, eat breakfast (the most important meal ofthe day), get Nadir to have breakfast, organize lunch and make the shopping/task list for the day. Around 11, the battery starts wearing out and Nadi goes for a nap. In the next hour “off”, I catch my 11am episode of Numbers, quickly shower and change, and manage to check my mail and send off the first lot of any work emails/responses/fwds and sometimes even randomly browse . Slight stirring and Round Two starts. Of games, crawling, exploring, dancing. A couple of hours and a filthy child on my hands, covered in floor dust and food remnants, it’s bath time. Possibly my fave part of the day. Bathing, dressing, lunch and another nap (which would be my second round of me/online/work time)take us to 5ish pm when we actually manage to leave the house for our out-time. Could be a drive to Nanna-momma’s. Could be a hop skip at the park. A mall trawl. Evenings are usually social, out somewhere, people and extreme dad excitement and around 8 we are in need of a recharge again. Down time then last about an hour (my evening shower/change/hangout with hubby/finalize any pending work)before its another couple of hours of extreme action and then bedtime approximately 10:30pm.)*

She was right. I was lucky. Supremely so. After all, I am home and “doing nothing”. All day.

*subject to daily chaos/change/moods and all other forms of unpredictability related to baby-growing.


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20 thoughts on “Doing nothing. Nothing doing.”

  1. ummm i hate doing this “sadqa jariya” (was forwarded something cute am forwarding this routine) but recently the quality of “material”forwarded to me has improved…though Im not a mum I could identify with the following (being rsponsible for cat and husband) and well after reading about Jammie’s day there is a lot that is familiar!!

    Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, ‘I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed’
    She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches.
    Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for dinner the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container and put spoons and bowls on the table.
    She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button .She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
    She watered the plants, emptied a rubbish bin and hung up a towel to dry.
    She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for an excursion, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturiser, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. Dad called out, ‘I thought you were going to bed.’
    ‘I’m on my way,’ she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked.
    She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV’s, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the basket, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
    In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualised the accomplishment of her goals.
    About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. ‘I’m going to bed.’
    And he did…without another thought. Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer…?
    CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL….. (and we can’t die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

  2. i once read this somewhere and also firmly believe that ‘being a mother is the toughest job in the world’.
    seriously.. and not to forget, the multi-tasking.. it just amazes me. wonder what i’ll do when my time comes.
    andn i also like how you manage to catch those episodes in between.
    you sound like that character ‘Flash’!
    whooooosh. πŸ™‚

  3. and they say mommy’s do *nothing*….it’s ironic that in this world of *nothing-ness*, one sees the most sacrifice and love.

  4. But you really are doing nothing sort of right?I mean for women who might be going out and working we do the 9-5 or 6 or 7 job and then come back and do home and hearth and everything else?

    Dont get me wrong you are doing ALOT ALOT ALOT where it comes to raising the child and stuff..but you arent balancing it with a career are you, a 9-6 job or something?And your job is made infinitely easier with a masi or a maid or someone to help around with the cooking, cleaning or something or the other, as it is back home, or if you chose to not have them, atleast you have that choice to have or not have a helper for the kid, or a masi..or what may you have in karachi.

    In a way she was wrong totally..but in a way she was so right…so your taking care of a kid…a choice you didnt have to make…and have a joba nd handle a kid TOGETHER..then id are handling EVERYTHING…

    Your life is very busy…and crazy as well with what is obviously an amazing wonder of a kid…but your just doing what every other female who decides to stay at home and do…while it cant be classified as”nothing” it really isnt like one of the seven wonders of the worlds to be ooooooh’d and aaaah’d and congratulated over…half the women do it..its so normal..and really is nothing

  5. interesting round of replies.
    aneela yes i think we are made for the long- no comparisons. guys are so much simpler – in every way πŸ™‚

    nisreen/nat/cheeky- isnt nothing so relative? i mean how can ANYONE tell ANYONE what nothing is?

    pogo- the point of my post was to say just what i have said- that “nothing” is relative. its like someone who work 9-6 that all they are doing is “just a job”- which is also really nothing because so many of them arent bringin up their kids all day. Nothing is a label i dont care much for. How much I work or not- how much someone else works or not- whewther i spend the day bringing up a kid or project managing- nobody can stand on the outside telling me that i “do nothing” akll day. the barometer of fulfillment is different for different people. I just like writing sbaout these statements to remind myself to never make them regarding other people. πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by.

  6. i would add to this fascinating discussion but im not quite over naduu sahab in the last post.. he is growing onto me.. i would like to sink my teeth into those gigantic cheeks

  7. i spent about a month with my bro, sis-in-law and their new baby. i volunteered to take care of my niece a few times for the entire day (which included bathing, feeding, playing, taking her out for walks…and so on). and by the end of it all i’d be exhausted! but the next day, i’d be ready for another day with the baby. it was definitely worth it πŸ™‚

    and yes

  8. I for one would never say that to a mom….seeing my wife go through all of what you just mentioned up there…

    if this is what is “DOING NOTHING” then SALUTE TO ALL MOMs….for doing nothing….and making us all better human beings…

  9. I am a college student who was on a gap year before university. That gap year was really taken to read (non school) books and newspapers and magazines (not those trashy ones that we flipped through between classes in our high school \washrooms), to become more spiritual (which is easy when all your friends are partying in college with their new friends), to watch some interesting movies or documentaries, to TRAVEL (sight-seeing and exploring in general, and not guided tours), to work some (even if it was temporary), to learn how to cook (whoever thinks it’s a Pakistani housewifey thing and looks down upon it needs to open their mind, cooking is FUN) … my point is that it was the busiest ME time of my life and it really, really prepared me for college. And I used to find myself less busy when I actually started college.

    And yet, while I was busy selfishly (proudly so), doing a great deal of things for myself, and people would say Oh you’re so faarigh … it was so easy to scream …

  10. oh Lord… I hate people who say that. Between the kids the freelance and the social commitments – i am run ragged. to say nothing of the fact that a lot more is expected from mothers who work from home/stay home.

    my house cannot look dusty, my kids have to be clean, meals have to be the best – because otherwise ppl look at you in shock and say – but what do u do all day at home if you cant atleast do that much? i put away the cheques i earn and shrug. i dont have to explain myself to anyone

    and for all those who work and come back to their kids, they arent really doing everything that you do along with work. they’ve outsourced their childrearing. …

    anyway. this argument got heated enough on my blog to almost drive me to shutting it down….

    hang in there. when you see how beautifully Nadi is growing up you wont really care what others think. and they will rethink their image of you doing nothing.

  11. hey.

    ive been a regular visitor to your blog. πŸ™‚ and its so awesome to see Nadi grow mashallah! i think you have a wonderful flair for writing! πŸ™‚ a bunch of us have begun this venture, both indians and pakistanis, at
    we wanted to start an ezine which todays youth can contribute to and which we all could be proud of in time and i think you would be a wonderful addition to our contributors. do visit the site, its not much yet but i think we’ve had a great start. do reply back to me asap at with any questions or thoughts

    πŸ™‚ looking forward to hearing from you


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