Kat asked me how I knew that we were ready to go the baby way. (And for a second here, for the sake of finding an answer to this question, let’s pretend (*we* are actually the ones in control.) I had no words other than the inane all-ambiguous, “You Just Know.”
But I am reading this book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert on Hussy’s recommendation, and there was a paragraph that maybe lends some perspective. Here goes, (the author has just met an acquaintance who has told her she is pregnant.)
“I saw joy in her face and I recognized it. This was the exact joy my own face had radiated last spring, the day I discovered that the magazine I work for was going to send me to New Zealand on an assigment to write and article on the search for giant squid. And I thought, “Until I can feel as ecstatic about having a baby as I felt about going to New Zealand to search for giant squid, I cannot have a baby.”
That said, I was not ecstatic when I found out about Nadir. I was nothing. Happy seems too lukewarm but maybe that’s all that can do justice to how I actually felt. That “ecstatic joy” came later…much much later. Possibly even after he was born. I think we all have our own timings, the mental list of things to do as a an individual and couple before you move onto wanting to start making a list of things to do as a family. Everyone has a different relative threshold, kinda like pain or joy. What is too soon for one, is perhaps, too late for another. What is wow for one, maybe ho hum for another. We have learn to recognize our own feelings, create a meter by which only we can decide whether we are happy or ready or whatnot. But for the sake of answering the question in my words, Kat, I’d say as soon as the thought of a baby doesn’t scare the life out of you, you are good to go. The rest…just follows.