Quite a few people have told me how I make mommyhood look easy, natural and something to look forward. Because I am a gracious and polite person I say thank you especially when the going is good- because honestly, it isn’t that hard. But sometimes, even though I still say thank you nicely, inside me I am laughing hysterically because only I know intimately the complete lack on control I have on life and how difficult it is to get my head around the fact that I am now responsible for this little bundle of buzzy energy all the time.
There was a long list of what i will and will not do as a mom I came up with during my preganncy. Every time I saw a mom-kid encounter that left me reeling (positively or negatively), I would jot it down as part of my parenting plan. I will NOT let my kid have coke. I won’t let him stand in the car. Won’t let him play with the remote. Will allow TV. Nap time is important. Play time is as important. No talking back. Reespect all elders. The list grew and grew ( is still growing, in fact) comprising of the tried and tested (vegetables are good) and the new and experimental (so is chocolate)- the sublime (dua before sleep) to the ridiculous (10 minutes of dancing time during the day).
In our culture of everything-together-together, it becomes hard to bring up your child in the way you think best, because so many times you don’t get to come to that conclusion yourself. Your mom thinks A is best but your friend/that aunty/your mom in law/a pointless relative (or the equivalent) insists on B, so you settle on a confused AB to maintain all round peace. I am no expert, believe me, but as the months have gone by, I have come to conclusions that are neither A nor B and sometimes not even C. Sometimes they are M. Or S. Or even V. You know what I mean. Only then I have learnt will it atleast look easy and natural.
“In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck – and, of course, courage.” ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood, 1986