A few months ago, one of my blog’s unfans commented along the lines of how I was a mother on the sidelines, not really bringing up my kid hands on and adding to the rift between classes by having “help” in the house- and yet STILL blogging about about how hard pressed I am for some k time or me time or time out from my work. I remember being momentarily irritated but then vastly amused at the presumptious nature of this comment and person who sat so firmly on her high horse deciding who was suffering enough to be a Real Mother. A similar comment thread on Mad Momma’s blog reminded me of that and even though I have already posted this comment there, I am reposting it on my blog to remind myself that there are mother’s of all kinds out there- most working damn bloody hard to ensure the best possible reality they can give their kids along with a few dreams. Nobody has the right to judge how she does it.
I think one of the most deplorable things in educated circles when you have to prove how you’re a mother because you cook or clean or do some kind of physical labour. What about if I just work bloody hard and earn well and pay someone else – who wants to make money too- to do the physical work so I can have some quality time with my kid? Why do I get judged on that? Is a mother MORE a mother because she has suffered more? Personally in my circle of reference the people I have seen taking on all the laborious work of cooking cleaning are the ones who are worried that their kids get the short end of the stick- so basically instead of pointing these long painted fingers at each other, if we actually stood up and smiled encouragement at each other for whatever little bits we give up to provide the other little bits, won’t we finally be making some kind of universal sense?