letting live.

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K and I decided way back, probably even before we had a kid or the semblance of an idea of a kid, that we were going to be make-your-own-choices kinda parents. In theory, at that time atleast, we promised each other that no matter what our children wanted to do, (and hopefully it would be rebellious within reason), we would be there to support them, even if through gritted teeth and clenched fists. We talked long and hard about it- and realized that we didn’t want to be those parents whose children stifle their personal quality in the hopes an efforts of making us happy. We want to be the kind of parents who celebrate every success, even if it isn’t on our personal agenda of what we hope for our children. 

Coming from a culture of big expectations especially where the child-parent relationship is concerned, it is scary to imagine that you can easily turn into any of those parents you have seen around you, stifling their kids- now grown men and women- under the pressure of what they should be doing for you. I don’t doubt that parents a lot of times do know best-  but I remain a strong supproter of living and letting live. Especially if you weren’t allowed that luxury. Children need to ake their own mistakes, figure out their own paths, and as much as meddling comes naturally to any parents, it is so important to let go, once in a while, allow them the injuries- of getting shocked by that switch they insist of stucking their finger repeatedly into or falling off the bed because they insist on jumping on it when practically swaying with sleepiness. Sometimes you just have to let the live their own lives, cross your fingers, shut your eyes and hope for the very best.

Having said that however, I am now going to eat my words just a little bit. Coming from a quasi creative family of writers, artists, designers and photographers,  in some ways, especially right now at the emulating stage, I suppose Nadi has no choice but to be curious and  interested in what we do. And even though, we still remind each other of the fact that we are perfectly ok with him, one day, doing whatever he likes with his life, it is such a funny high and thrill to watch him take an interest in things that matter and make sense to the lives we have chosen for ourselves today.

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jammie

people who know me...know me.

6 thoughts on “letting live.”

  1. eggsjachtly!! that was the first promise we made to the baby…no expectations, you are here for entertainment purposes only…if he wants to do nothing more than examine his navel and live on an island, i will give him provisions of SPF60…a friend did say that he will resent me anyway ” khudh tau dono ney parh likh liya and sent me away with no educational training” but that is a battle Im willing to take on.

  2. nadi has endless possibilities open to him, being the multi talented copycat that he is.lol.
    maid, chef, champion swimmer, photographer, dancer, etc.

  3. i think he is just generally an explorer and someone who will get influenced and try things but eventually figure out his own niche in it.
    so here is to little cheeky monkey,happy birthday, and go, b whatever you want…giving jharoo is not bad, you will have a very happy wife;)

  4. i think its great when parents dont impose their choices on you, but invariably for some reason kids (mostly eldest ones i have seen) gravitate towards their parents’ professions.

  5. I think it’s great what you have decided for him.. that he can decide for himself. It’s so important that parents see their children happy – rather than putting up smiles for parents. Kudos. : )

  6. lol. didn’t see before posting my comment that my first four words are exactly the same as the previous commenter.

    must learn to read other comments first before commenting. lol.

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