The F word and other less important stories

What would you do if your 2 year old suddenly ran around the room with “f—, man” on repeat? If you were a normal human being you would want to melt right there of course. I stared in horrified fascination at the clear diction, the appropriate use of the word (the light had just gone in the middle of his favourite TV show) and wondered who and where the hell he had picked this up from? I sincerely wish I could get on the moral high horse and say he has never heard me say the word. But he has. Once. Apparently that was enough, because of the strength of which the feeling erputed from me. By nature, I am not an abuser. K is. And we had many a conversation in which I expressed my dispeasure at it and warned him of dire consequences if Nadi ever picked up foul language from him. You can imagine my mortification when it turn out I am the corrupting influence. The first time I heard him use the word- I looke dat him and asked, Nadi what did you say? And he looked sheepishly at me and mumbled, “Fudge, man” I looked hard at him, trying to fgure out if I heard wrong and turned away, and clearly heard him pipe up behind me “F— man”. I turned around and got the cutest grin from him. God Help Me I thought. My next attempt to foil the bid was to blank at the episode. A few days later randomly, he must have remembred it and suddenly went on repeat again. Twice, thrice and I studiously, achingly kept a stright face when, I must shamefully admit, all I wanted to do was laugh because this is SO not the problem I envisioned with a two year old. A minute later, seeing no reactin from me, he moved onto the next game and all was well. I stay on my toes these days, hoping he doesnt suddenly recall his fun word in the middle of an adult/ family gathering. My friends thankfully, are so much more…liberal. Some downright supportive even of his ability to make such good use of a word I had really hoped he would not learn till he was 25. Ok, 15.

I was going to relate some other stories also but by doing so, I will take away from the somehwat comic horror and impact of this story. I realize for now, I am still reeling from this and I need to let you guys reel/laugh/judge/enjoy/ shake your heads at me for a bit also.


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11 thoughts on “The F word and other less important stories”

  1. seriously sheza? and tell me it gets resolved on its own because right now it IS cute but soon im sure it wont be!!
    we arent generally an abusing set of parents- we use words like fudge and flippin fish and cartoony expressions liek holy moly or maaan or ohoo on conscious purpose but am learning you cant control the environment completely no matter how hard you try…tell me it gets ok!!

  2. that is somewhat horrific…
    i for one cannot even believe he has started talking so properly.

    august will be very interesting…. 🙂

  3. it does get better…and the more u ignore, the faster he forgets! try and make sure he gets no reaction whenever he uses it (and i say this knowing its really hard with grandparents/aunts/uncles around).

    Nadi’s only 2, he really doesnt know what it means or or the impact of what he’s saying… he’s only expressing his dissappointment with a word he thinks is as good as any other. next time the bijli goes, use a different word or expression to express yourself and watch him change his reactions!

    btw, eesa also picked up “F***, man” first. it wasn’t as hard as when he picked up “F*** you!”. but its REALLY hard esp since some of my friends swear as often as they breathe. but i dont want to shelther eesa from them since they are awesome people. *sigh*

  4. haha, ali baba said ‘fuckkkk maaaaan’ infront of my very proper uncle in law on eid last year.. i cracked up and it was most inappropriate i know, but gosh, so funny… he knows now that some words are only for mummy to say just like only mummy can drink coke etc…its amazing how he understands that bad words are only for adults to say…. kids pick up so fast… baba picked up on my telling r ‘he wants to go to the bloody park again’ and said most innocently when we got there ‘mummy, bloody park mae garmi hai aaj’.. now we all refer to the park as the blooody park… ‘blooody park jana hai?’/ oh no, bloody park band hai!’

  5. hahaha shez cheeesoo youre making me feel better!! this is so funny- esp since im most proper about it unless really riled up- and now heres that propeness being shoved back in my face!! but yes i see the humour in it and the cuteness and i also foresee lots of incidents. cheesoo he already knows its something he shouldnt say hence the whole coyness but am hoping like coke is for abba (we do that too-) this will also soon become something only for big people 🙂 he is only 2 so i should cut some slack haha. but my godd this is so funny hahah – i should stop saying hell and bloody too.

  6. I think you are forgetting the real culprit…KESC/WAPDA…call them up and give them an earful for causing the F episode…bijlee hotee tau maa ka ladla na bigarta

  7. lol cheesooo!! i love that one!

    jam… forget the properness na, when he hits 15, he’s going to use it ANYWAY! my only distinction is that it shouldnt be offending anyone… eg F*** man is not the same as F*** you! F you is offensive and directed at someone. if its not hurting anyone, then its just a word. like bitch is just a word until it is directed at someone. obviously, i’m not saying to just let him use it. we dont use the words at home (except silly lol… we use that ALOT but its pretty harmless so oh well!) but don’t worry about giving him a reaction unless its directed at someone.

    btw, i know its not right and it is OBVIOUSLY giving him THE reaction, but try and record it next time and put it on repeat when he’s not watching….its sooo much fun! LOL!

  8. haha.. ohmygod.
    just yesterday i was in the room with my 4 yr old nephew and there was some movie on tv and the guy was like ‘are you f-ing crazy?’.. few minutes later he turned to me and said the same!
    i was in shock but couldnt stop laughing ‘AAahh stop!! your father is going to kill me!’.
    in their house.. his mom -my sister- unfortunately is the abusive one, and the dad isnt at all. he’s extremely prim and proper when it comes to such issues. i remember once when he had come back from work, as soon as he stepped in he was greeted by ‘baba, u know u know.. today mama said shit!.’

    it’s amazing how these kids just pick up those precise words filtering out the rest and know exactly when to use them.

  9. i think they pick up on them coz they are damn smart and they know in an instant that the poor parent has frozen up in horror and what more fun to a kid than a parent who is reacting!! 🙂

    its good to know that we are in multiple numbers and society still accepts us *wink*

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