feeling ego-centric.

One of my biggest fears about having a baby was losing touch with things. Its not necessarily a valid fear, I have come to realize, because I am surrounded by some fantastic women who are really inspirational in their lives. But perhaps because of the examples I was surrounded at the time or the system that doesn’t always support a working mom, I felt the task was going to be uphill. Everyone who loves me assured me how my more boho outlook on work- random timings and deadline discipline would actually allow me to adjust to an evolving work ethic where I could call the shots. And being swept along with the faith everyone has in me, I found myself extending beyond my baby comfort zone to take on things and try out different project types and classes- things I had not previously done, but those that with my brand new baby-priority suited my timings and attention spans.

In my lines of work- both teaching and designing,  its always a new day. Always a new project , always a new thought and you move on faster than you think you will to the next best thing. Its exciting and you stay away for a bit, and you can actually feel like youre being left behind. It has been important to me to know that I have kept up with the times, so to speak. I love Nadi really, but I know I need this other stuff for me to feel fuilfilled enough to BE the mother that I am. So one plods on and does ones best- grabbing opportunities, doing your mostest and hoping that youre making the mark where you wanted to.

Which is why when the fun things happen, you realize that all the effort was for some reason- that somebody out there does notice that extra mile you go to make sure your work is on time and good, that the baby is doing well and that things generally look like they are where they belong. This summer was great. Not only did Nadir and I make it in my sisters book Raw Life as one of the ten creatives who are happily doing their own thing, but I also got asked to be a summer brand ambassador for Ego, along with some other very dynamic women I know. You know you have got to be doing something right na when a hip up and coming brand asks you to wear their outfits out and about to create interests amongst people. “Wear it to your classes,” urged the PR person. “Wear it to the bday party or the get together. Wear it on the weekend- just wear it and look like who you are doing what you do best. Trust me people will notice.” Initially I was a little reluctant- I am NOT the model type, I told her, really not trying to be modest, just honest. “It isnt about models, it’s about role models. We want people who are personality driven to be associated with this brand”. Put like that, come on, I could not refuse, especially not since the little voice in my head kept prodding me and asking, but isnt this what you mean when you said that you wanted to stay in touch with whats happening?

To be honest, I don’t think I know what I meant when I promised myself I would stay ” in the loop”. I just knoew that I did not want to be one of those moms who, after they have had a lengthy discussion about their kids allergies and preschool, fall awkwardly silent. I love doing the baby talk sure, but the me that extends beyiond that needed to be kept alive, and I was lucky enough to be in an evironment surrounded by people who let me grow alongside, wihtout stifling my desire for individuality.

We are part of a culture where motherhood is all consuming. The thing is…motherhood IS all consuming. It takes over our air and space and we are never able to truly breathe on our own again- but we need to sometimes snatch in those breaths of air that are solely our own. So when something – a person, a brand, an opprtunity, a gift comes along that celebrates what you are doing, it should be applauded because to be told you are a role model for others because of the way we do things, to be told that you make a difference to the place your backside off for, now thats where the difference begins, not only in the way people see you, but in the way you are and one day, will be.

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jammie

people who know me...know me.

4 thoughts on “feeling ego-centric.”

  1. thanks shez- its hardly me- just right time right place working out allah ka shukar!

    need to blog more frequently but brains always buzzing in another direction!

    khiz- look whos talking!!

  2. I’m not a housewife, let alone mommy. But it seems to me that unlike most mothers (who whine all the time), you have really good time management skills. Maybe you should post tips .. 🙂

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