The Bad Cop.

So Nadi doesnt like school. It’s been almost one month (with wayy too many holidays in the middle) but that magical moment when he realizes how much he loves school over home has, despite  repeated assurances that it will, not happened.

Every morning is a heartbreaking experience of being asked so very politely to “please” take him to Nanna’s instead. Or the park. Or to the toyshop.  Who can say no to a well mannered little boy who says please anyways?

Everyone, and I mean literally every single person assures me this is normal. “He is having such a great time with you, do you blame him for not wanting to go to school, where attention is so divided?” says one very nice mom, who also had a hard time. “He needs to learn to be independent” states another, “he is too attached to you, I think”  One part of me feels like snapping back asking what is wrong with a 2 year old little boy being attached to his mother? And the other part of me is torn- what is she is right? Am I damaging him in some way? what if this is doing more harm than good this whol preschool making them social thing?

I ask k and he says, he will be fine with a confidence I just can’t feel. I am aware of my role- I am forever the Bad Cop. The one who MAKES him do stuff, like put away his toys and goto sleep at an hour he would rather be playing. I am the one who LEAVES him at school, hardening my heart to the quvering pout and the sad eyes, and the very polite, please nanna paas le jao nadi ko. I dont want him to associate me with the sinking feeling of school days. I want to run in and rescure him but I steel myself against it, why I quite don’t know yet. I am waiting it out, holding my breath, for it to click to him that this is just for him that I am doing this. He is a smart little kid, he should figure it out soon , right?


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12 thoughts on “The Bad Cop.”

  1. =( one yr in, we still have a hard time getting to school. when you figure this out, plz share. i just don’t know what to do either =(

  2. I dont want him to associate me with the sinking feeling of school days.

    I remember a lot of things my parents made me do that I didn’t like. And I think generally we don’t associate our parents with those highly unlikeable things. Nadi will probably begin to enjoy school soon and I don’t think you should be worried about being a bad cop too much. It’s a cliche but it’s true: Most of the hard-to-do stuff that my parents have made me do have made me a much much better person. And I think someday he’ll thank you for it.

    No, seriously, I really think he will.

  3. sheza- im holding my breath and praying 🙂

    minerva- thanks for the vote of confidence. I think so too…but this is by far the HARDEST point in mommyhood i have had to face so im floudering a little 🙂
    inshallah should be ok soon and yes hpefully wihtout any long term scars!

  4. aw, jammie. i don’t know what to say – except that i hope he grows to love it soon. or at least starts to enjoy it enough that you don’t feel like a bad cop any more. like minerva said, bad cops are necessary.
    hugs babe.

  5. absolutely jam!
    he will grow to like it. you’ve been a dedicated mum and this just shows how much he enjoys spending time with u even though you’re the bad cop. that’s beautiful i think and soon enough…and disregard what ppl say about him being too attached to u. ppl are full of warped ideas. enjoy the attachment jam!

  6. sara b: i agreee!! i’d rather be the mom with the attached child than a child who would rather not be with me(grandparents place is the only exception!).

  7. aww.. inshalla i hope he figures it all out real soon. he will!

    on a side note, i was just wondering -if u haven’t checked already-, maybe some incident occured in school which he has opened up about or shared with you.. i dunno could be that someone said something or something happened and so he doesn’t feel so enthusiastic abt school anymore.
    the thought occured to me, coz its quite a contrast from the first few days when he started.
    OR maybe he thought those school trips were a temp thing, and got bored of of it already! 🙂

  8. Im going through something similar. My 18month old started preschool a month back and still pouts when i leave him (although the bawling has ceased). I know if i could do it all over again, I’d put him when he was 3 or atleast 2.5. But on the positive side, its only ONE hour! I actually started crying with him the first day, it was so heartbreaking…so i completely empathize and hope Nadi settles soon and starts loving school!

  9. awww. i love the “please nanna paas le jao nadi ko” part. its like when my niece says, “mama, can you please say sorry to me?”

    i hope he starts enjoying school soon.

  10. oh! good to know a fellow bad cop! :p

    and yes, he will indeed get over the misgivings and enoy school! maybe he already is? this post is almost two weeks old. Cubby on good days hops, skips and jumps to school and on bad cries “schoon naee jaana” as soon as i start waking him up! 🙂

    and yet he almost always comes out all happy! so i guess he is having fun! 🙂

    i love reading nadi talk! how much sweeter it must actually sound! 🙂


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