between interruptions

Hussy, Am and I landed up at my place post a plan one day, just hanging out. Fizz, Am’s impy 2 year old puttered around the room looking for ways to entertain himself while the three of us chatted- getting involved in the finer details of something we were dissecting and analysing.  The conversation got heated as Am and I debated one point back and forth, until suddenly we heard Hussy cry out in desperation from across the room, “CAN YOU GUYS NOT HEAR THIS??”  Turns out Fizz, having exhausted all the odds and ends in the room had found a metal pan on which he was clanging with all his might- and had in fact been doing so for a good 5 minutes- a fact that completely escaped our mommified ears, as the two of us calmly carried on our conversation.

Hussy, currently standing on the other side of the chasm that separates us mommies from the regular human beings, was suitably impressed (read horrified?) at this super power we have of being able to tune out (an in this case, quite literally!).  Life has become so much about the breaks and interruptions that we try to block out the unnecesaary just so we can complete what we need to. Everything is done in short episodes, whether its something as simple as having lunch or something as detailed as a project deadline. I cannot remember the last time when I had a stretch of unadulterated unbroken me time to do with as I please. As I am fond of incredulously asking k, “What did we DO with all the time we had alone?” Even he doesn’t really remember. Apparently with the ability to tune out also comes amnesia.

Nis sent me this really interesting book called Between Interruptions (thanks so much- I love love love receiving stuff like this!!) that has writings of moms who have lived to tell the tale- through the guilt, the fulfillment, the agony and the ecstasy. Its such a relatable read, because no matter how together you think you’ve got it, at night when the demons come to prey, all thinking normal moms have the same fears. Am I a good mother? Do I do enough for the baby? Do I do enough for myself? I find strength in the common-ness of trials. It feels good to read of other people- who are trying AND managing- to live their life to the fullest between interruptions (such a fantastic title for the book, really). I don’t know why before we become mothers we are so averse to the idea of life changing- and we swear to ourselves we shall try our hardest to live like before. There is such relief, such power, such freedom in finally letting go and realizing in one deep cleansing breath that I am a mother now- and that despite my mad work deadlines, my non work interests, my life as a wife or friend or daughter or sister, when needed, that  bit of me – the momma bit- easily, effortlessly without a second thought takes priority over everything else.

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jammie

people who know me...know me.

6 thoughts on “between interruptions”

  1. despite having over a 100 reads on this article, i have one comment on this- usually that makes no difference to me. But today it made me wonder- is th subject such that bodes no comment- or do people disagree or agree- i wonder-

  2. I think most people aren’t there yet, like me. Most of us are still struggling with the fear of how things are going to be when we eventually have kids to drive us crazy – and the other half who already have kids are still struggling with the day-to-day retention of sanity rather than accepting the inevitable change that has come into their lives.

    Just a thought…

  3. i agree with the comment above.
    the first time i read this post, i wanted to say so much, but then i thought since i haven’t been there yet, most of what i say will be lacking substance.

    although i can completely identify with your friend Hussy. i have been through that situation many times. every other day my sisters are over for tea or lunch, and the kids would be wrecking havoc. and both my sisters would be so ‘tuned out’ from it all and busy catching up that they don’t notice at all.. unless there is some blood involved or if something breaks , i dont think they want to intervene!
    and i feel bad sometimes, coz i think this is like the only break they get from their super busy day, so now i just let them be.

    on a different note, from my observations and being around mommies most of the time, i’ve come to accept that life is never the same after you become a mother. priorities change instantly, and no matter how much you want to retain your old self, mommy duties always come first. it’s important to be focused and know what you want, otherwise ‘between interruptions’ can be intimidating for some.

  4. cheeky- minerva- i think thats whay i wrote this because i needed to get the words out to hear how they sounded. I always get irritated with people who are mentally only half there when im talking to them- mind you its not a parent thing alone- i can cite examples off hand who dont have kids to use as an excuse and still functioning between interruptions- but i try hard to not let go of my pre baby self- meaning the person who i was and what i provided to an intelligent conversation and mood despite having an attachment.

  5. i know, WHAT did we ever do with ALL that time? A and I ask ourselves that constantly!

    I totally agree with your last paragraph – it is SUCH a relief to let go, to accept the change, to let it mould our own lives. I think mommyhood becomes fun and the experience can be enjoyed to the fullest if you allow the changes that come with a baby. i resisted until Z was about nine month i think 😛

    glad you enjoyed the booK!

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