Nadi and I are on a major disconnect these days. He doesn’t understand why life has speeded up some, why I want him to do things he doesn’t want to do and I , in turn, don’t understand how he can manage to consistently sidetrack me with his odd questions. “But mama why can’t I go to school dressed like a lion?” “Mama I want to have big huge muscles- can you get them for me?” “Mama I don’t want eat with my hands, I want to eat with my feet.” “But why can’t I make a tower with my books and stand on it?” Now anyone who has a toddler out there will know exactly what I mean because the kind of abstract sci-fi, quantonium powered energy filled plane these kids exist on is completely trippy. A conversation can easily go on an hour without even remotely reaching a conclusion. Activities can be played on repeat with no sign of boredom or tiredness. Most questions and queries have me stumped and most requests eventually exhaust my body and patience.By the time K gets back from work, I’m a snarling tiger and he calmly, annoyingly, gets to be the sunshine. Nadi will throw everything down and run to him, chattering adoringly about his day. K’s face will glow from the happiness that is his lovely baby and the two of them will share a moment while I seethe in the corner feeling like a monster for not seeing the charming lug that is our child, having been blinded by the insanities of daily toddler life.
Pretty much the only thing that pulls me through days like this one is the mad humour in the situation you simply cannot help but see. I am amazed at how we moms get slot into this evil role so effortlessly while dads get to be the knights in shining armour. Admitted there is nothing sexier or more adorable than a man who can handle his kids well while winking at the wife, but still, allow me a moment of two of indignation that on most days, he doesn’t have to deal with never-ending negotiations over veggie eating, bath taking and face washing that have me feeling like I am demanding blood not manners.
I am not the bad guy, I want to shout, when this happens. I REALLY AM FUN. I do all these insane things all day to prove it. But in all this hugging going on, I dont think they are paying much attention to the screaming mom on the side. Hmph. So this year in my 3 wishes, I would like one to be that I feel like the good guy. The chocolate wielding fairy instead of the cucumber feeding mom. The paint all over the house goddess instead of the no markers on my bedsheet lady.
Just for a few minutes each day. Thank you.