Evil mom-me makes a wish.

Nadi and I are on a major disconnect these days. He doesn’t understand why life has speeded up some, why I want him to do things he doesn’t want to do and I , in turn, don’t understand how he can manage to consistently sidetrack me with his odd questions. “But mama why can’t I go to school dressed like a lion?” “Mama I want to have big huge muscles- can you get them for me?” “Mama I don’t want eat with my hands, I want to eat with my feet.” “But why can’t I make a tower with my books and stand on it?” Now anyone who has a toddler out there will know exactly what I mean because the kind of abstract sci-fi, quantonium powered energy filled plane these kids exist on is completely trippy. A conversation can easily go on an hour without even remotely reaching a conclusion. Activities can be played on repeat with no sign of boredom or tiredness. Most questions and queries have me stumped and most requests eventually exhaust my body and patience.By the time K gets back from work, I’m a snarling tiger and he calmly, annoyingly, gets to be the sunshine. Nadi will throw everything down and run to him, chattering adoringly about his day. K’s face will glow from the happiness that is his lovely baby and the two of them will share a moment while I seethe in the corner feeling like a monster for not seeing the charming lug that is our child, having been blinded by the insanities of daily toddler life.

Pretty much the only thing that pulls me through days like this one is the mad humour in the situation you simply cannot help but see. I am amazed at how we moms get slot into this evil role so effortlessly while dads get to be the knights in shining armour. Admitted there is nothing sexier or more adorable than a man who can handle his kids well while winking at the wife, but still, allow me a moment of two of indignation that on most days, he doesn’t have to deal with never-ending negotiations over veggie eating, bath taking and face washing that have me feeling like I am demanding blood not manners.

I am not the bad guy, I want to shout, when this happens. I REALLY AM FUN. I do all these insane things all day to prove it. But in all this hugging going on, I dont think they are paying much attention to the screaming mom on the side. Hmph. So this year in my 3 wishes, I would like one to be that I feel like the good guy. The chocolate wielding fairy instead of the cucumber feeding mom. The paint all over the house goddess instead of the no markers on my bedsheet lady.

Just for a few minutes each day. Thank you.


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12 thoughts on “Evil mom-me makes a wish.”

  1. Oh i hear you sister. The Toddler gave his First Thankyou to his dad yesterday. “Thankyou soo much Baba” he sighed all breathless. It was a beautiful moment but I was Not In the Frame. And a thankyou for something so teeny I cant even remember it. Ungli kaat kar shaheedo may shumar hona indeed.

  2. I feel like shouting SAME HERE but I dont have the energy after reading The ABC Book over 20 times (always in a chirpy sing song voice!). These days, in our house, the battle lines are drawn…I can say ANYTHING and Bayboo will respond with ‘No!’, even if he really wants it. Of course when Baba offers it, its always “wuv, thaaaankyouuuu, wuv you!” galore. Grrr.

  3. i think i’d rather just dwell in my daydream that someday, when they are all grown up, and their memories magically blanked out by time, the parts they’ll remember is how mommy was not the crazy monster telling them to hold their vomit in while she runs for a towel; all they’ll remember is the wonder mom who stayed up all night nursing them with cold compresses!

    But then I hear the “come home soon baba, i want YOU to give me my strawberry medicine”…… *SIGH!!!*

  4. You know I thought it was just me who got worn down by all the negotiation that accompanied every act when I was the nanny.
    On another note, I am sure Nadi will realise what an awesome job you did raising him. It is all for his benefit.

  5. oh yeah, oh yeah. i know just how you feel! i was thinking about this only two days. how i’m really sick of the endless whys and the even more endless but whys.
    today’s question for you – how come we can’t make clothes out of noodles?

  6. hahahhahahah,,let me have my share of laugh first…though jammie wrote it with utmost feelings but all i could end was extreme laughter..i being a single lady know that its my MOM who calls all the shots but she proves dad being responsible for it “beta, mainne dad se baat ke thi and he said NO, so u cant do this thing..blah blah”…use that…it works 😀

  7. goodness jammie i totally hear you!

    I have another tragic twist to the story.. UTP is not at all hands-on with the kids and all of last year was away traveling in little bits for a grand total of over six months.. *sigh*

    much as i resented his absence – having to deal with this exhausting drill of being mommy to an inquisitive 4 year old and a demanding baby all alone, i resented his being around some more for being the useless dad that he is!!!

    it gets better babe, thats all i can say.. they grow up faster than we can imagine.
    amen to your three wishes.. i’ve learnt its perfectly ok to let the perfect mum take a break occasionally and let the kids binge on chocolate cereal, watch endless cartoon, skip a shower or sleep in late!

    you’re doing a brilliant job babe 🙂 more power to you!

  8. i love the last part:) the cucumber and the marker on bed sheet lady:D
    but yeh i get what you are saying, you get to be the devil without even trying and its almost like there is no role reversal
    i do sound as if i have raised 20 kids but i think its a general thing as well sometimes
    i am the bad cop because im a stay at home daughter and my brother and and sister are angels by default no matter what because they are away!

    hope you get your wish:D

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