I have plenty of friends who are well on their way to child number three and yes although they have in passing mentioned how much work having multiple kids is but no one ever really ever went into the gory details of how very little personal time you have left. Probably did not want to scare us first timers off at the time.
Since Leila, its like time is on some special kind of warp speed. Sometimes several days go by before I get the remotest chance of bringing k up to date on recent projects, happenings or even random daily gossip. Our conversations, when they finally do happen are disjointed, short and almost always broken with Nadi chatter or Leila tasks. Even trying to actually have a good ol fashioned fight on a subject takes a special kind of skill. So yes when we do get the rare chance, we are talking away like teenagers having been given free phone call privileges, and the other day, a friend having watched us for the better part of the evening talk to each other, asked us only semi jokingly, “Dont you guys go home together?”
So yes, what having kiddo number two has done for us- is put the mystery element right back into our relationship, which after 5 years was just starting to get to the comfy old socks stage. The newness is back into the relationship because we dont have the luxury of time to stare at each other anymore. Not that we ever did that, but…you know. We look forward to a night out together with the same anticipation that a night out got back when we had started to get to know each other. It is kinda nice this weird distance between us, and in this case, without a second thought, I completely blame the kids.