When Nadi started school, we took some time to settle. He wasn’t thrilled about school, though he did manage it stoically without tears most of that first week. It was that heartbroken how could you look that really stayed etched in my head for a while. And while waiting for him outside, I remember one mother commenting to another on how easily her kid went off to school without looking back, that this means the child is aware of the fact that he/she is secure and loved. Those words stayed with me for a while after mainly because they didn’t make sense. To me, the fact that my child is reluctant to be left alone with a bunch of strangers didn’t spell security at all, it spelt nothing at all. Each kid is individual , as Baby Center tells us at the end of each monthly update, and how they react, feel and behave is all a mix of factors. I loved the fact that Nadi liked being home as much as he (eventually) liked being at school. It meant for him the home was a happy fun place too. I tried not to take that security comment personally, even though it wasn’t intended for me, but it stayed with me.
Now its Lily’ time for school and she sauntered off jauntily to her class that first day and I waited for that comment to echo in my head and make me feel better. Now here was my second child going off without a backward look. Did I raise her differently? Does she feel more “secure” if that is what it takes for a kid to get adjusted to preschool? The assigned half hour later, the teacher brought her back, looking a little bereft and her entire face lit up at the sight of me waiting for her. The relief that I was still the happy factor was palpable in my reaction.
Perhaps I am of the breed of mothers, who like knowing their kids are keeping them on the radar even when they are having fun. Perhaps I will also in the coming days start enjoying the fact that my kids need me less. I don’t know. What I have understood all over again is that the only person who need to feel right about what I am doing, is actually just me. Happy School Years Lily. May you have an amazing time.