There is absolutely nothing to be said about holding back. It is an airless vacuum of a place where you not only have no sound but nothing to say out loud either. And when you finally do give into your feelings, and words, openly without blocks and barriers, it is like a whoosh of air rushing in, where previously you were sitting very very still.
Any close friend who may have noticed would have asked if I was not happy. After all, they have seen my happy and its quite the obvious. My excitement is palpable over whatsapp and mail even. It brimmeth over, as a bard may have said, so the last few months of not really living out loud have felt very halved in their existence.
I guess what I am saying is that don’t hold back. Even when it hurts, don’t hold back. Feel everything you want to feel even if it terrifies you because the not feeling, it not worth anything.